engliish

like...so bloody that i really can't get a word in my shitty language...but it's alright after all,i'm here,were no one can judge me...or maybe that's just another mask that i've created,thinking that hiding behind this computer will make me a shadow,that you'll only read,without judging me...

it was a fucking shitty day,with shitty people and a shitty feeling that made me be reeeeeally[i was going to say shitty,but i guess i used it too many times] really..really...like "wtf,let me die here in silence"

it would be really nice if you guys will let me cry myself out,as i wish for so much time,and hopefully God will hear me when i write this and take the pain away while i'm crying,because i really don't like feeling something else then my tears falling on my face while i'm crying.but no,it seems that i can't cry anymore.when i do this,the pain always comes and takes my soul...so i should just drown in silence...

i wonder if after years and years i would be able to read this again and understand all..maybe i'll get so stupid that my mind will not be able to translate even "hello,i'm stephanie"

i kinda feel all my body,but still,every little part of it hurts so much...it's like the whole universe would rather love making me suffer and take off all my nice dreams...now i really can't smile for true...

i just found a beautiful story,about a man that was dreaming one night that he was on a beach with God..we looked back and saw two footprints: one for him,and one for God.then we noticed that in the bad days,it was only a footprint.he asked God "why did u leaved me in the bad days?" but the answer he got was touching: "my son,in the bad days,I did never left you,the footprints you see are mine,because i walked with you in my arms..."

it's really,really nice...T.T but I can't understand why didn't God helped him more...but maybe..maybe he actually did,but the man didn't realised that if God wasn't there..it would be much worse.